


gather courage to return

by bananas



Category: Cricket RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, boys being dumb, boys with feelings they can't face, i tried to stick to the prompt, or admit to, or just boy being dumb, summer lovin fic exchange, what a classic trope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 05:49:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14805560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananas/pseuds/bananas
Summary: Pat runs away from Mitch and his feelings but he'll come back- he always does.





	gather courage to return

**Author's Note:**

  * For [celebel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/celebel/gifts).



> hello this has been my baby for the past few weeks and it isn't complete but it will be veryyy soon (hopefully before it's published but, uh, doubt it)
> 
> this was the lovely prompt which i tried to stick to: 
> 
> _Pat and Mitch break up after the 2013-2014 BBL season for reasons and Pat joins the Sydney Thunder. Fix-it fic, how and when they get back together is up to you :)_  
>     
> title from devil may cry by the weeknd 
> 
> disclaimer: real people but it's only based on them. dialogues, scenes, relationships are all a figment of my imagination etc etc etc

_4 days before_

 

“Hey,” Pat said, as he fell back on to the sofa with a groan, half landing on Mitch.

“Hey,” Mitch replied, readjusting so that Pat’s head rested on his lap and his hand had better access to brush Pat’s hair out of his eyes. “How was practice?”

“How do you think?” Pat mumbled with his eyes closed as Mitch stroked his hair. “I can hardly feel my legs.”

Mitch hummed in response continuing to run his fingers through Pat's hair as he unmuted the TV and lowered the volume slightly instead so as to not disturb the now half asleep fast bowler on his lap.

“Your manager called. Said you weren’t picking up your phone. Did you get a chance to speak to him?”

Pat opened one eye and then closed it quickly when he spotted Mitch’s eyes on him.

“Yeah I spoke to him after practice.”

Mitch frowned; Pat’s voice sounded almost forcefully casual but he didn’t inquire any further.

“By the way,” Mitch said conversationally, “I ran into Starcy and Josh on my way up. They kind of invited themselves over next Saturday so they'll be having dinner with us.” He stared intently at the TV, bracing himself for Pat's imminent outraged reaction.

Pat’s eyes opened instantly. “They what?” He shot up and stared at Mitch who, with difficulty, moved his eyes away from the TV to look at him.

“Pat, come on,” Mitch said in his most reasonable, convincing tone. “You can't avoid Starcy forever.”

“Uh, yeah I can.” Pat said, swinging his legs off the sofa and standing up, all pain and exhaustion forgotten.

Mitch sighed. “Just give him the damn ball, Pat. You lost, fair and square.”

“But it's mine,” Pat whined. “Wasim Akram signed it and gave it to me. I don't want to give it to him.”

His petulant expression tugged at Mitch's heart strings and Mitch struggled to keep the fondness he felt at this moment off of his face.

“Well, you shouldn't have bet on something that valuable to you in a golf game then,” Mitch said as Pat sat back down next to Mitch with his eyes closed and head now resting on the sofa back instead on Mitch's lap.

“It was you or the signed ball,” Pat said with a smile in his voice and Mitch grinned.

“Aw, you’d rather risk the cricket ball than me?” Mitch cooed. “What a lovely boyfr- what a lovely friend I have.” Mitch stopped himself from saying the word just in time but Pat didn't give any indication of noticing and instead shoved him, nearly pushing Mitch off the sofa. Mitch just laughed, barely hanging on and, in the end, grabbing Pat's shirt to keep himself from falling off. Pat frowned, sticking his tongue out at him as he resettled himself on his seat, stealing Mitch's duvet in the process.

 

-

 

Pat doesn’t check his phone till later that night despite the constant buzzing through dinner and the movie because he knew what he’d find. When he does, he sees he was right; his inbox is filled with texts and emails from his manager. He responds to the each one with a simple reply. 

_[11:29 PM] Pat Cummins: Tell Thunder I say no. No deal. I’m sticking with Perth. You can’t change my mind about this so don’t even try Neil_

 

_-_

 

_3 days before_

 

“What are we watching tonight?” Pat asked, drying his wet hair with a towel and shaking droplets in Mitch's direction as he approached him. Mitch yelped, dodging the water drops and cradling his container of Chinese food to his chest.

“We’re continuing the Harry Potter marathon,” Mitch said. “And don't shake your wet hair like that; you'll get water in my chilli.”

Pat stuck his tongue out, snatching Mitch's chilli out of his hands but Mitch grabbed it back instantly, handing Pat his own with a pointed look while holding his own food close. They settled in on the sofa soon after, containers of takeout surrounding the blanket they'd cocooned themselves in.

Pat's head came to rest on Mitch's shoulder as Hedwig’s theme began to play and it stayed there till Pat dozed off, halfway through the second movie they watched. Mitch led him to bed, first taking him to the guest room but Pat, although mostly asleep, tugged him towards Mitch's own bedroom and collapsed onto Mitch's bed, like he did on most nights where he was too exhausted or drunk to overthink it.

 

-

 

_2 days before_

 

Pat was sweaty and tired as he walked into the elevator of Mitch’s building. A long day of practice meant he hardly even noticed his surroundings, let alone anyone around him. A tall, familiar man followed him into the elevator. 

“Hey,” Pat greeted Shaun with surprise. “What brings you here?” he asked.

“Er, Mitch lives here?” Shaun said with a hesitant smile and a tilt of his head. “What about you? Are you coming straight from practice?”

“Oh, yeah,” Pat glanced at his sweaty self. “Mitch and I had plans so I thought I'd just shower here.”

Shaun nodded, his expression unreadable.

“So, is that a common occurrence?” he asked casually and Pat shrugged.

“Kind of. Practice is usually nearby and the water pressure here is better than at my apartment.” He grinned and Shaun smiled back, slightly hesitant.

They exited the elevator in comfortable silence, Pat holding the door open for them and walking ahead till Mitch’s door.

Mitch answered after some incessant ringing of the door bell (Pat) and some banging on the door (Shaun).

“Hey,” he greeted Pat but his smile faded and was replaced with surprise as he spotted his brother come out from behind Mitch.

“Shaun! What are you doing here?” he asked, still stood in the doorway and only moving to the side as Pat playfully pushed past him, slapping his bum on the way.

Shaun raised his eyebrows at Mitch as he watched Pat walk away, straight into Mitch’s bedroom but Mitch only responded with a look in Pat’s direction that Shaun would only describe as longing.

“Can’t I visit my brother every once in a while?” Shaun then asked, breaking Mitch out of his reverie as he walked past him into his apartment.

“Of course,” Mitch said instantly. He shut the door and followed Shaun in.

“Well, I can leave if you want.” Shaun paused in the middle of the lounge.

“I mean, maybe you’d like to go join Pat in the shower,” he went on, his tone suspiciously innocent.

Mitch choked out a sound of surprise before quickly denying any such thing.

“It’s not like that!” he said immediately and Shaun gave him a knowing look.

“Sure it isn’t,” he said sarcastically as he exited the lounge for the kitchen and Mitch scrambled to follow.

“It isn’t,” he insisted again but received no acknowledgement from Shaun, who instead lifted a glass of water to his lips.

“Yeah, sure,” Shaun said but he looked unconvinced. “Anyway,” he said quickly before Mitch could counter, “the real reason I came here is because Mellisa and I were thinking that you’d host the family roast this year.”

“What? Why?” Mitch looked confused but Shaun only shrugged.

“You’re a big boy now Mitchell; it’s about time you host it. You’ve got your own place, a steady job and a boyfriend too now by the looks of it- Hey!”

Mitch punched his shoulder before he could continue.

“He’s not my boyfriend!”

Shaun rubbed his shoulder, glaring at him. “Okay, fine. Whatever you guys are - you’re still hosting family roast. Next Friday. 1 pm. I already told Mum and Dad.” He walked out, heading for the door.

“But that’s in 7 days!” Mitch shouted, hurrying to catch up with him.

“I know.” Shaun smiled, somehow angelic and cunning at the same time.

“Good luck,” he said, shutting the front door behind him as Mitch raised a finger in his direction.

“Ass!” he shouted after him and he heard Shaun’s laugh echoing in the corridor.

 

-

 

“Your manager called again,” Mitch told Pat as they settled in for a movie.

Pat sat up immediately, staring at Mitch.

“Why does he keep calling you?” he asked, scrambling out of the blanket and towards his phone. “Did he say anything to you?”

Pat’s voice was slightly panicked and Mitch stared at him, surprised.

“Did he say anything about what? You were in the shower so he couldn’t reach you; that’s probably why he called me.”

Pat just nodded, clearly distracted by something on his phone. He scrolled down, his eyes focused on the screen.

“Is everything okay?” Mitch asked, his voice slightly wary.

Pat’s head shot up.

“Fine, fine,” he said distractedly. He shut his phone again, putting it down on the mantle.

“Are you sure?” Mitch asked as Pat rejoined him on the sofa and he received one of Pat’s trademark smiles in response.

“Of course, Mitch."

 

-

 

_[8:27 PM] Neil Maxwell (Manager): Just spoke to the Thunder management again Pat. they’re willing to pay you twice of what perth is giving you. TWICE PAT. You need to take this deal. Call me._

 

-

 

_1 day before_

 

“We’re out of milk,” Pat announced as he walked into the lounge with a cereal bowl.

Mitch looked up from his phone as Pat showed him his mostly dry cereal.

“And coffee and oil and bread, yeah,” Mitch said, making a face. “The grocery shopping is due.”

Pat sat down next to him on the sofa with his bowl. “So when are we going?” he asked, mouth full of cereal.

Mitch’s heart skipped a beat at the “we” but he ignored it, careful to maintain a nonchalant expression and tone. “We could go today? We’re both free right?”

Pat nodded. “Yeah. Leave at 3?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Mitch said, the perfect picture of composure.

 

-

 

Mitch tapped his foot impatiently as he knocked on the bathroom door for the fourth time in the last ten minutes.

“Pat, come on; you’ve been in there forever! We were supposed to leave ages-” Mitch stopped halfway as the bathroom door swung open to reveal a very shirtless Pat with one hand on the door knob and another running a hand through his wet hair. Mitch’s eyes strayed off their own accord and he swallowed loudly as Pat’s small towel around his waist, barely covering anything and outlining everything, came into view.

“Yeah I’m done. Sorry,” Pat said, oblivious to Mitch’s expression. “Let me just grab my clothes, yeah?” He walked around him to Mitch’s bedroom and Mitch was left standing at the bathroom door, in the exact same position, unmoving except for his mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“Yes. Yeah,” Mitch said, turning around after a few seconds as well as several failed attempts to speak.

“I’ll, uh, be waiting in the car then?” he said uncertainly. Mitch didn’t wait for a response then; he just grabbed his keys and phone off the mantle and rushed out of the house before he could see something that would make the current situation in his pants worse.

 

-

 

Mitch was quiet on the ride to the supermarket and even as they entered as he tried to get the image of Patrick in a ridiculously tiny towel out of his head. Pat didn’t seem to catch on however, keeping the conversation going in full flow all by himself, going on and on about poisoning Starc’s steak when he came over on Saturday or putting the autographed cricket ball in a safe that only Pat would be able to access. Mitch just hummed and nodded occasionally, allowing Pat to map out and ponder over his diabolical plans himself. 

Mitch hardly noticed that they’d even entered the supermarket and were already shopping when someone dropped a value pack of extra small condoms into their cart. He looked up to see Josh and Starcy passing by with their own shopping cart right in front of them and Josh with a suspiciously innocent expression on his face.

He raised his eyebrows at them as Pat picked up the box and threw it at Starcy who ducked out of the way expertly.

“Hey Mitch, Sydney boy,” Josh greeted them both as his boyfriend stuffed the box back onto a random shelf. Pat’s eyes widened with alarm at the nickname.

Josh backtracked quickly as he saw Pat’s expression.

“I mean-”

“Sydney boy?” Mitch asked, before Josh could finish. He looked between the two of them, confused. “Why did you call Pat a Sydney boy?”

Starc had returned to their group by now and, clever as he was and used to his boyfriend’s antics, realized the mistake Josh had made here.

“Oh you know,” Starc said with a forced laugh. “Josh and his stupid jokes. He meant Sydney boy because Pat looked and dresses like a Sydney boy- terribly?” He finished his lie uncertainly looking at Mitch as if willing him to believe him.

Mitch looked unsure and definitely weirded out but he shot a quick look at Pat and the smooth, innocent expression on his face seemed to placate him.

He nodded slowly.

“Anyway,” Starc said, turning to Pat. “I hope you’ve been polishing up that cricket ball nicely for Saturday, Patrick. Just don’t ruin the autograph on it with your large, clumsy bins for hands.”

“I won’t,” Pat said with narrowed eyes. “And you know what they say about big hands, anyway. I notice your’s are suspiciously tiny. Poor Joshua,” he added, a sickly sweet smile on his face and Starcy looked scandalized.

“Oi! That was uncalled for,” he said, glaring at Pat while Josh and Mitch laughed uncontrollably next to them.

Pat stuck his tongue out, pushing their trolley ahead, past them before Starcy could launch a counter attack, physical or verbal, on them.

“We’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Mitch called out after them as he sped up to catch up to Pat and the trolley.

 

-

 

_[3:22 PM] Mitchell Starc: WHY HAVEN’T YOU TOLD MITCH ABOUT THE SYDNEY THUNDER CONTRACT YET?????_

 

_[3:22 PM] Josh Hazlewood: I’m so sorry for bringing up the sydney thing. I thought the Bison knew? Sorry :(_

 

_-_

_0 days before_

 

“Hey losers,” Starc said, striding in through the front door and not bothering to knock. 

“Or just loser,” he added, spotting only Pat in the room. Josh followed close behind with a large, covered dish in hand and a sheepish grin on his face. Pat gave Josh a wave from where he was sorting laundry on the sofa before adopting a glare just for Starc.

“Aw Patrick,” Starc said as he came to sit on the sofa, right next to the washed clothes, “wipe that ugly frown off your face. You don’t want to get premature lines on your face now do you?” He reached out a hand to ruffle his hair.

“Oh, fuck off,” Pat said, slapping Starc’s hand away and picking up the folded clothes.

“Where’s your boyfriend anyway?” Starc asked, following Pat to his and Mitch’s room.

Pat ignored him, sorting through the clothes and placing them carefully in their respective drawers and cupboards. He heard a soft thud and the mattress springs protesting as Starc threw himself on the bed. Footsteps followed and Pat heard Josh’s voice from behind him.

“I put the apple pie in the oven like the Bison asked, Pat,” Josh said from behind and Pat turned finally, finished with putting the clothes away.

“Thanks, Josh,” he said with a smile and Josh smiled back. Starc huffed, no doubt offended that he was ignored and Josh wasn’t. He tugged at Josh’s arm, pulling him down onto the bed with him. Josh landed with a small “oof!”, half on top of Starc.

Pat fought back a smile as he watched them wrestle on the bed.

“Oi! No funny business on my bed,” he called out as he walked out of the room. Starc and Josh followed diligently, but not before Josh gave him a small shove and Starc almost hit the door frame.

“So where is Mitchell?” Starc asked. The three of them sat down on the sofa and Pat pulled his phone out of his back pocket.

“He went to get some last minute ingredients for lunch,” Pat said, hunched on the sofa and his eyes trained on his phone. “We didn’t realize you guys would be so early.”

He sent a quick text to Mitch asking where he was before putting his phone away. He looked up to see Starc giving Josh a significant look while Josh was merely shaking his head in return. He raised his eyebrows at the two and Josh noticed, elbowling Starc who flinched but straightened his expression immediately.

“What are you two up to?” Pat asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Nothing,” Josh said instantly but Starc looked hesitant.

Pat stared at him expectantly until he spoke.

“It’s nothing really we were just- well, I was just wondering,” Starc adjusted with a quick look in Josh’s direction after he made a sound of protest, “about you and Mitch actually.”

Pat looked confused. “What about me and Mitch?” he asked slowly.

Starc looked hesitant once more, shooting Josh a glance but Josh remained unmoved and quiet, just observing Pat intently.

“Well, obviously it’s none of our- my business but you and Mitch you’re- you know,” he gestured with his hands, “together, right?” he asked finally and Pat stared at him in surprise.

“No!” he said, louder than he intended to. “Why would you even think that?” he asked, his tone slightly softer but not any less shocked.

Starc looked startled by his response but Josh’s expression didn’t waver.

“Really?” Starc asked. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, Mitch, I’m pretty sure I’m not in a relationship,” Pat said incredulously, shaking his head at the ridiculousness of the question. “Mitch and I are friends- good friends- that’s it.”

Josh raised his eyebrows and Starc looked skeptical as well.

“You live in the same apartment,” Starc pointed out and hushed Pat as he went to interrupt. “No- let me continue. You live together, you sleep together, you eat together, you grocery shop together, you spend every hour of everyday together-”

“That’s not true!” Pat said, finally able to cut in. “I have my own apartment.”

He shot them a smug look but they exchanged skeptical looks before Josh spoke.

“When was the last time you slept in your apartment?” Josh asked, his expression neutral.

Pat looked hesitant. “Last week,” he said, after a few moments of deliberation.  “But it doesn’t make sense for me to go all the way to mine after practice since Mitch’s is closer,” he added quickly. “Mine’s a whole half hour drive and Mitch’s place is right here.”

The two of them didn’t look convinced.

“So you spend all your time at Mitch’s because it’s convenient to come here after practice?,” Josh asked, slowly. “Which you only have 5 days a week?”

“Not to mention, your entire closet is here at Mitch’s including clothes you don’t wear to practice,” Starc added.

“My entire closet isn’t-” Pat began to protest but was interrupted.

“Yes. It is. You even have two drawers of your own here.” Starc’s voice was growing higher and higher by the minute.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Pat said defensively. “You two are blowing this way out of proportion.”

“You’re wearing Mitch’s shirt right now,” Starc pointed out and Pat looked down to check and saw he was, indeed, wearing Mitch’s shirt.

“Last week at Steve and Tim’s you fell asleep on Mitch’s shoulder mid-movie and Mitch didn’t move for three hours,” Starc went on.

Pat was silent now, hands folded across his chest, his mind racing.

“And when we went to the beach the other day and you and Maxi went surfing, Mitch couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, especially after Maxi dunked you halfway,” Josh added.

“You’re reading way too much into this,” Pat said with a small, forced laugh. “I don’t see Mitch that way,” he insisted.

“I call him your boyfriend all the time and you never denied it,” Starc pointed out but Pat shook his head.

“That doesn’t mean that he is my boyfriend,” he said again.

Starc was silent, his expression oddly pitying.

“Look,” he said, softly. “We get it; you’ve never thought of Mitch in that way but sometimes you don’t realize you’ve fallen for someone until you’re lying on the floor staring up at them just after banging head-first into them during post-series drinks.”

Josh bit back a smile at this, his hand finding Starc’s.

Pat pressed the bridge of his nose with between his thumb and forefinger, taking a deep breath.

“These feelings aren’t necessarily a bad thing, Pat,” Josh said quietly. “You and Mitch are great for each other.”

Pat opened his mouth to protest but, for once, nothing came out.

“Mitch is a friend,” he finally said, his voice strained. “I can’t let myself think of him in that way.”

Starc nodded but him and Josh stayed quiet, letting Pat process this in silence. Pat sat staring at the ceiling, while they busied themselves, Starc pulling out his phone and engaging in a very intense game of Temple Run and Josh took a much-needed bathroom break.

“Why does it even matter to you guys, anyway?” Pat’s voice was slightly scratchy, a desperate edge to it.

Starc looked up from his phone.

"You didn't tell him about Thunder so I thought-"

"There was nothing to tell," Pat interrupted him in a hard voice. "I'm not taking the deal."

"You aren't?" Starc asked, surprised.

"No, of course not. How could I leave Perth? That's mine and Mitch's te-" Pat stopped himself, realizing what he was about to say.

Starc looked at him knowingly. Pat hated it.

"I didn't have to tell Mitch about Thunder anyway," Pat denied. "It had nothing to do with him."

Pat avoided Starc's disbelieving stare but even he knew that the weird, guilty feeling in his chest all week was from hiding the Thunder deal from Mitch. Even though he'd told his manager to reject it, he couldn't bear telling Mitch about it- he'd make him take it, he'd want Pat to take the opportunity because that's how Mitch was- he always wanted the best for Pat. And worst of all, he knew deep down that it wasn't his loyalty to Perth that was keeping him tied down to the Scorchers- it was his loyalty to Mitch.

“How did I let it get this far?” Pat asked Starc after minutes of silence where Starc stared at him cautiously, as if Pat was a bomb, waiting to explode.

“What do you mean?” Starc asked warily.

Pat shook his head, barely hearing him.

“I shouldn’t have let it get this far,” he said to himself.

Starc stared at him, his expression slightly alarmed but Pat wasn’t even looking at him.

Pat stood up distractedly, heading for his- no, Mitch’s room.

“Where are you going?” Starc called after him and Pat heard hurried footsteps following him and Josh’s distant voice from the bathroom mid-pee asking “What’s happening out there?”.

Pat ignored his audience and grabbed the first bag he found. He opened up his drawers and began stuffing clothes into it.

He’d reached the second drawer when Starc said from behind him.

“That’s Mitch’s bag,” he said quietly and Pat froze, staring at the bag and realizing that Starc was right.

“And that was, uh, Mitch’s t-shirt you just packed,” Starc added. He looked very sympathetic and Pat hated it.

He emptied the bag right there on the floor, rummaging through the top shelf of the closet to find his own. Once he did, he began to pack his own clothes into it, carefully leaving out anything that smelt or looked like it belonged to Mitch.

“What are you even doing Pat?” Starc asked, his voice tired as Pat moved on to packing his cricket kit and shoes.

Pat didn’t bother answering, zipping up his kit bag carefully and slinging in on to his shoulder along with his other bag.

“Pat, you can’t just leave.”

Starc followed him into the lounge where Pat paused, staring at the room slowly recognizing little parts of it that belonged to him: his DVDs, his xbox games, that blanket on the sofa that his mom gifted him the first winter he’d moved away from home- almost every corner of the room had something of Pat’s that he’d brought here at some point and never taken back. His voice hitched in the back of his throat as the realization sunk in.

“I can’t do this,” he said in a hollow voice, staring at the room.

“Can’t do what?” Starc asked him calmly, coming up from behind him. He placed a comforting hand on Pat’s shoulder but Pat shook it off.  

“I can’t stay here.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard Starc ask him “Why not?” but Pat didn’t bother answering. He gathered up his DVDs, the blanket and his games, stuffing them into his bag along with his other belongings.

“Me and Mitch- we’re meant to be friends,” he said, struggling to zip up his overflowing bag. “We can’t- can’t be more than that,” he grunted, finally getting the bag to close.

“Why not?” Starc asked him again, his voice less calmer than before.

“Because I’ll fuck it up,” Pat spat out.

“You don’t just run away when you get scared, Patrick,” Starc said, his voice sympathetic.

“I’m not running away,” Pat said, picking up his keys from the mantle.

“Really?” Starc asked. “Then what’s this?”

“A clean break,” Pat said grimly. “For Mitch.”

He turned on his heel and walked out of the front door without another thought. He ignored Starc’s voice calling after him as he walked into the elevator, bags on his shoulder and an odd heaviness in his heart.

  
  
-

 

Before Pat started the car, he pulled out his phone and sent a simple text to his manager.

 

_[1:29 PM] Pat Cummins: Tell Thunder I’ve changed my mind. I want a meeting._

 

-

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> come say hi: [tumblr](http://storm-alert.tumblr.com)


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